It's just like the Real World with babies
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
