he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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