I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
