Your tits are I can't wait for
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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