ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
