The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
