i was born a porn star she said
Who did Billy Mays play for?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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