So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
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he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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