real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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