are you so shy because you have an std?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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