And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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