You're completely useless in the revolution.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
