I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
