Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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