lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
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Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
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Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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