waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
