Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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