Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
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Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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