my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
