Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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