turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
do herpes really smell.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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