Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
