Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
