Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She bit a glass in half.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
