am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
