I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
