I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
