I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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