bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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