mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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