her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
