speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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