how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
