Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize