I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Bring me that man meat
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
