so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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