The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
