I CAN MOONWALK!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
