there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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