thus making me awesome and them whores
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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