Already got asked if we're dating
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize