sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
