Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize