Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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