some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
