@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
