and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
