when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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