Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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