I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
