i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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