Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
