I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You made out with two different species that night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
