Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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