happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
