Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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