omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
