i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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