I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
